


Amish Paradise?

by Plumetta



Category: Zombieland (2009)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 18:38:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2239221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plumetta/pseuds/Plumetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The zombie apocalypse hasn't changed life too much for the Amish, they just have to worry about zombies and thieves stealing their crops.  The gang gets into a little trouble and has to repay a debt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amish Paradise?

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything no copyright infringement is intended.

Little Rock and Wichita were scrubbing dishes for twelve people.

“Why did we ever come to Ohio? Little Rock grumbled.

“You know Columbus, had to see eventually.

“Yeah, but did we have to get arrested by the Amish?

Wichita laughed. “We’re not in jail.

“We were sentenced to six months in jail for stealing food.”

Wichita shrugged. “Yeah, but Dad talked them down to two months hard labor in exchange for the food we stole. She twirled in her ankle length blue dress. Besides they gave us these new awesome clothes.

“I have dishpan hands, after this we have to scrub the floor. What do they make “Dad” and your husband do all day long?

Wichita whispered. ‘Cool your sarcasm with that. We have to be a proper family to be allowed to stay in one room otherwise we would sleep in the house and they’d have Dad and hubby out in the stable. Columbus tells me they dig traps in case any zombies come on the land they get caught.

“If they’d learn how to shoot guns, it wouldn’t take two weeks let alone two months.

Wichita shrugged. ‘They don’t believe in guns.”

The girls spent the rest of the day cleaning and at dinnertime Columbus and Tallahassee came back from the fields with the rest of the men. They looked just as ridiculous in their Amish clothes.

They sat at the long table and after grace dinner was served. It had been a long time since our friends had seen this much food in one place. Chicken, potatoes, vegetables, biscuits. They were devouring everything on their plates. Tallahassee said. ‘Girls, girls, did I raise you to eat like barbarians?”

Little Rock glared at him. “Dad, we’re hungry.”

“Eat that food like a lady or you’ll go to bed without dinner. Tallahassee said sharply.

Little Rock had spent a lot of nights hungry but never with food on the table. Wichita was about to give him a piece of her mind but Columbus squeezed her hand under the table and whispered Enjoy The Little Things.

Little Rock slowed down and actually was able to taste how good the food was. Meals had become about survival not enjoyment. This food was fantastic, there was even an apple pie for dessert.

Tallahassee asked Mr. Lapp after dessert. “Who is on guard duty tonight?

“We don’t stand guard at night. That’s why we need the traps.

Tallahassee sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it tonight. Columbus, how bad is that cut you got today?

“I can’t use my shotgun.” He said.

“What happened? Wichita asked.

Tallahassee laughed. “Well Krista, your husband can’t work an Amish shovel. He cut himself.

Wichita narrowed her eyes at the use of her real name but kissed Columbus’ hand. “Poor baby.”

“Columbus is such an unusual name. Mrs. Lapp said. “Were you named for Christopher Columbus?

Columbus smiled. “Actually it’s my last name. My father in law has always called me Columbus.

I can handle it myself. Tallahassee said ‘But I need to get a couple of hours sleep after sunrise tomorrow.

Mr. Lapp agreed. “My sons will take over at dawn.

“I can guard with you.’ Little Rock said.

Mrs. Lapp frowned disapprovingly. “The child handles a weapon?”

Little Rock snapped. “Yes, and I’m damn good at it too.

Tallahassee sighed. “Sarah, apologize for your language.”

“Tell her.”

“Girl, do what I say.”

Little Rock pouted. “I’m sorry for cursing but I am good with a gun.”

Tallahassee agreed. ‘She is but your house, your rules. She won’t use a gun until we leave here.”

“You can’t do that! Little Rock squealed.

“Sarah, go to bed. Tallahassee yelled.

“It’s not even dark.

Tallahassee had a splitting headache. “Krista, reason with your sister.

Wichita was furious but these people were holding the truck prisoner and she didn't know where it was. “Sarah, you heard Dad. Go to bed.”

Little Rock stomped upstairs and slammed the door.

Mr. Lapp gave Tallahassee an understanding look. ‘Girls are harder than boys.”

“Tell me about it.”

Tallahassee headed upstairs before he went out on guard duty. He knocked on the door before he came in.

“Go away Tallahassee. Little Rock snapped. “I’m not talking to you.”

He sat on the bed. “You’re a stubborn girl.

“I said we’re not talking. It’s bad enough I look like Little House on The Prairie, you treat me like a child.

“You are a child….at least a kid.”

“I was good enough for guard duty three days ago.”

“You’re damn right and you’ll be great in two months but for now we have to do things their way.

“Why don’t we just take the car and leave?

Tallahassee sighed. “It’s in a barn, ten miles from here. The deal was it can’t be near a house we’re working in. They’re not stupid and they want to protect their land from zombies and thieves. We’ll work off our debt and head to Florida. I’ll even take you to Disney World.

Little Rock fought to keep the smile off her face. “I’ve had enough with amusement parks.”

“All right. Gator land. I’ll get some alligator boots and…

“Tallahassee, I don’t like you pretending to be my father.

He whispered. “That couldn’t be helped. It’s easier if we’re a family, by their rules and standards. Besides I pretend to be your father every day.

Little Rock sat up. “No…you act like my father every day. Now you’re pretending. Threatening no dinner. Putting me to bed like a toddler. Taking my gun away.

He chuckled. ‘I will admit it is fun to be the boss and not have to do everything by committee. Kid, when this is over everything will be back to normal.

“You took my gun away.”

“Kid, I wish we lived in a world where you didn’t need a gun. We got into some trouble here but they have beds for us, water to wash up in, three meals a day. It’s not a bad way to spend a couple of months. Lapp told me I should put you in school and they’ll just assign you chores like any other kid.

‘School? Please the best thing about the Zombie Apocalypse is no school.

“Little Rock, there are kids your own age here. 

“Yeah, but I’d never fit in with them.

“Not forever but for a little while wouldn’t it be nice to be around people your own age.

“Wichita is going to kill you.”

He smiled. “I know, that’s why I talked to you first. I thought you’d put in a good word for me.

‘After you’re such a mean Daddy….never.”

“Oh well. It was nice knowing you Kid.

Little Rock rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay but if you spank me for failing farming you’re a dead man.


End file.
